When Life Hands You Lemons...

How much lemonade can one make?  Seriously?  How freakin' much?  

I am grateful everyday for my blessings, really i am, but...  the taste of sour lemons has created such a thick coat of muck in my mouth, i am ready to throw in the towel sometimes!

I'm not perfect, i make mistakes, but, don't we all?  I mean... don't we?  Is it just me, or does life sort of like to kick us when we're down?  This idea, this thought process i've always had that the energy i give, i will receive.  I'm kind, i always use my manners, i hold doors open for people, i smile at people, i even go up to random stangers to tell them that i like their hair or outfit, or to let them know that their tag is sticking up or they have something stuck to them.  You know,, one of those nice people in the world.  I work very hard at being emotionally responsible with my kids, always with words of encouragement, and several "i love yous" a day. Well, that idea tends to fade the older i get.  The more i find myself with more lemons!

I used to be a super happy human.  Always smiling, always positive.  As much as i could, anyway.  I was in a very unhappy marriage for far too long, and was miserable at home.  But, when i was out an about, i was sincerely happy.  I loved being around my friends.  I loved taking the kids for walks or to the park, but, i remember that being at home turned me into a different person.  So much so, that my kid's dad would accuse me of being fake while i was out with friends or a work.  He would say that people didn't really know the real me because i was always putting on an act with them.  I could never quite get him to understand that i wasn't acting at all.  The me that i was around my friends or at work was real.  I was happy.  The me i was at home was real too.  i was cranky and unhappy.  It was all very, very real! 

Don't get me wrong, we had our moments, our laughs, our fun, but, deep down, i knew that if i left a mess in the kitchen, or didn't sweep just right, i'd be yelled at.  There was the time that i went out with some girlfriends. We were going to see a friend of a friend at a singer/songwriter showcase.  Apparently  i told the husband that i'd be home around 9.  That's what he heard anyway.  In my memory, the singer we wanted to see wasn't due to go one until 9.  I had 2 small children at home, so going out with friends at this time was a rarity.  We were still fairly new in town and these girls were new friends.  After the performance, we walked back to the friend's house that we had all parked at.  The moon was full and she was at the top of a hill that faced the moon.  We stood outside and chatted for probably 3 or 4 hours.  You know, those nights when the conversation is just so good you can't stop?  I remember looking down the street a few times wondering if the family Volvo would come around the corner with the husband and kids looking for me.  He didn't know where this friend lived though.  So, finally, somewhere around 1 or 2, (we actually hadn't even realized it had gotten that late), we all headed home.  I had ridden down with one of the ladies.  She dropped me off and the house was dark.  i know i was "in trouble".  I sent her on her way, even though she knew i couldn't get in.  Yep, that's right, i had been locked out of my own house while the husband and the kids slept inside.  i knocked and knocked.  i even went to the side door that entered into out bedroom, right by the bed and knocked and knocked, calling his name to be let in.  I finally saw that the bathroom window was ajar, so i pulled a bin of dogfood over to stand on and hoisted myself up into it.  Luckily i was skinny, it was one of those smallish bathroom windows.  Of course he was laying there waiting for me, and we ended up in a big fight over where i was.  I apologized for being so late, (we didn't have a cel phone yet, this was around 2002)He told me that he'd left the bathroom window open for me, he figured i'd see it eventually.  I"m sure we made up, as usual, but not after the usual "go round".  The thing with us, just as a side note, was that there was no such thing as make up sex.  As the years went by and the fights didn't stop, my attitude toward him became more one of loathing, then love.  I loved him like family, but not as a wife should love her husband.  Yet...i stayed.  I became more and more miserable.  I know he found me harder and harder to be around.  

The point i am trying to make with that story is this, i am a happy person.  i have a passion for life, a lust for life so to speak.  I always have.  My kid's dad saw it back when we were young and dating, but, i know that it faded after a few years, so he saw me as a miserable bitch.  Which i was, but only at home.  

The point of all of this is not to bash someone who clearly has their own issues, but to try and figure out, but clearing my own mind, why, through my positivity, do i continue to have "life's lemons" handed to me., 

Lately, i feel as though life has been handing me more and more lemons, which is what this entire post is supposed to be about anyway.  I am currently a mom of 3 without a car.  The car that i've been driving for almost 2 years was stolen recently.  It was just swiped from out in front of my house.  Missing without a trace! As my teenage son would say, "SUCKISH"!!!

Everytmie i feel as though i'm beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel, i get another slap from somewhere else.  I want to love my life again.  I do! I do! 

I am grateful for my kids, for my job, for my friends, for my art.... 

It would just be nice to stop feeling so much anxiety all the damn time though.  Like, "what next?" ya know?

So, i suppose, the moral of this story is to keep making that lemonade and maybe, occasionally spike it with vodka, huh?

Be Grateful

Be Brave

Be Kind

Be Yourself

and always Follow Your Bliss

~Shoestring Fashionista~ 4 June 2016

The first outfit, i wore to work yesterday.  It's a little scaled down from my usual office attire, but, it was friday, and i figured i'd be a little more casual.

The skirt is the main piece.  I picked it up at the thrift store for about $4.99.  It's got 3 levels of gorgeous, multi colored, stitched floral design.  (close up below)

I paired it with a black tank top and a thin pinkish sweater.  I think the tank was probably from Old Navy or maybe Target.  The sweater was from a clothing exchange.  The shoes are my fave black, strappy sandels.  Picked those up at Buffalo Exchange last year for about $10.

The next outfit is a "Saturday afternoon out with my kids", outfit.

The dress has an H&M tag, and the fabric reminded me of my 90s hippy dresses.  It has a little rip on the bottom, so it was $3.99 at the thrift store.  Flat and comfortable, fabric baby doll shoes by Chinese Laundry, also known as my "chola shoes" were my choice today.  I grab them at Asian import stores for $5 usually.

I couldn't handle my hair today, so messy bun was about all i could do.  The shades are from a cool shop in Phx called Lady Muerte.  They always set up next to me at the Northern AZ Tattoo convention, and we traded.  I did henna on her, and she let me pick a few things out. I love barter!

Back side view.  Just for fun!

Summer Adventure Series: Meow Wolf

"

Have you ever been to a place that overwhelms all of the senses and leaves you feeling giggly and and literally drunk off of art and the actual experience?

Well, if that sounds like something you would like to feel, my dear, i encourage you to head to Meow Wolf in Santa Fe, New Mexico!!!

Being the social media fan that i am, i heard about this place, this upcoming artsy thing, via Facebook in late Feb, early March of this year.  i wasn't sure what it was exactly.  A venue?  i saw that Amanda Palmer was performing there opening night, i was that Dear Tic was on the roster for late march.  Hmmm... but all of the images that were showing up made it look like some sort of psychedelic museum.

Well, twice this year i missed out on seeing Amanda Palmer. Shoot!  Her opening night performance at Meow Wolf sold out! (also when she and Neil were there supporting Bernie Sanders)Damn it!

When my sister and her kids were in town from Portland for my grandmother's funeral.  They decided to road trip it one day with her best friend, and ended up at Meow Wolf.  All she told me was that i HAD to check it out! That she and her teenage children, who grew up in the weird and artsy city of Portland, had come out of there having had quite a mind altering experience.  Well, being the me that i am, i knew i had to make it there ASAP.  

Finally, the kids were out of school for the summer and i had an extra day off of work.  We hopped in a friend's car and a group of us drove the quick 45 minutes up the hill from Albuquerque to Santa Fe.  

We were not disappointed. 

Let me back up a bit and explain, to the best of my knowledge just what Meow Wolf is.

Meow Wolf itself is an art collective.  A group of artists came together a few years ago to create something phenomenal. They had an open door policy to their studio and many people used that "radically inclusive" policy to show up, no questions asked, and create.

i mean, really, how cool is that?

These artists and creative types collaborated on pieces of art, both one and 2 dimensional using color, texture and recycled pieces and things began to come together, and then, come life.  

When this collective decided to expand and had the opportunity to move into a large space, i.e. the old bowling alley, they needed, as was put in their TedX, a fairy godfather of sorts.  Enter, George R. R. Martin.  Santa Fe resident and famed author of Game of Thrones.  He was able to help out with the funds necessary to bring this artistic wonderland to life.

Ok, fast forward to this past Monday.  

When you enter the parking lot, you know you're in for a treat~ A "ginormeous" spider, a metal wolf, a giant robot...

I won't give too much away because, one, you just have to go there and see it for yourself, and 2, you experience, along with everyone you're with will be completely different!

I was there with my 15 year old daughter, my 7 year old son, two girlfriends and their 2 teenage daughters.  We entered and were immediately transported into a fantasy of psychedelic and thought provoking phenomena~

Every window and door leads to something extraordinary.  Even the refrigerator lead into another room!  Yes, you can walk through the refrigerator! I mention it because it was my son's fave.  There are tree houses and black and white rooms and florescent rooms and even a siting of some sort of giant, abominable snow owl!  The lights, the sounds, the 100s of things to touch and pick up and open... It goes on and on and on~

We even took a break in the 1980s game room! Unfortunately, Ms. Pacman was out of order, but, my kids tinkered with a few games while my girlfriends battled it out on Galatica!

There is a stage in one room of Meow Wolf where they bring in acts of all sorts.  That's next on my list, hitting up a night of music there!  (It would be fun with a date! Anyone interested?)

I want to share a few pics from out adventurous day at Meow Wolf and i encourage you to head over there as soon as humanly possible! i for one can NOT wait to go back!

  

Shoestring Fashionista~ 2 June 2016

People ask me all the time where i shop, or want to know about my outfits.  I'm going to let you in on a little secret...okay, it's no secret, i tell everyone: I'm a thrift store junkie! Yep, 90% of my clothes are 2nd hand. 

This little section of my blog is going to be for posting my fabulous finds and how i style them for either professional looks, (i have a regular job during the week that i have look like a grown up for) or for going out dancing, or a sunday cook out with friends, etc...

My first outfit to post is this gorgeous pink retro chic dress.

This adorable, sheer, pink dress cost me $4.50 at the thrift store.  It was marked at $9.99, but i went on 1/2 off day and picked it up for under $5.00!

I styled it up with a black belt from my collection, and lacy looking "fishnet stockings.  The shoes were thrift as well, i may have paid $4.99 for them at some point.  

As you can see by this fabulous collar, there was no need for jewelry other than the small pink studs i bought at the local flea market.

To show off the collar, i did my hair in a messy, low side bun~